Post by CrazyGirl on Jul 9, 2004 15:43:52 GMT -5
Jennifer Lopez Announces Divorce #3, Sets Sights on Spears' Fiance
July 4th turned out to be a real Independence Day for Jennifer
Lopez, who announced that she is ending her nearly month-long
marriage to B-list pop star Mark Anthony.
Lopez intimate and former Access Hollywood host Pat O'Brien
said, "The relationship had become stifling. She's still fond of
Mark, but felt they had really done it all in these weeks."
The final straw apparently came when they completed opening their
wedding gifts. "Opening these gifts was such a great experience for
them, they knew it could only go downhill from there," reports
Lopez's shoe closet maid.
Lopez reportedly plans to try reading a book before embarking on her
next relationship. "She'd seen Ben Affleck looking at books at an
airport kiosk once, and the idea captivated her," O'Brien explains.
But it may not be a very long book, as Lopez might have already set
her sights on her next beau. According to O'Brien, the ample-
bottomed temptress is infatuated with Britney Spears' fiancé Kevin
Federline. "She's completely taken with his provocative moves and
loves the fact that he's a family man who is ready to make a
commitment."
Federline has fathered two children with former partner and alleged
actress Shar Jackson. There have also been rumors that Federline
impregnated Spears, and offered sperm to Melissa Etheridge and her
partner should David Crosby's sperm count drop.
News of the impending breakup has sent shockwaves through pop
music's skanky wh*ore community. Speaking at a New York City sex club
that she attended with new companion and former Senate hopeful Jack
Ryan, Christina Aguilera said, "It just proves how hard we must work
to preserve the sanctity of our relationships."
Aguilera was so distraught that she only engaged in what observers
described as "mild kink" with three partners, leaving some to wonder
if this is the end of an era. O'Brien isn't so sure.
"I think this may be just what the pop wh*ore genre needs to shake it
up. I have a feeling that Britney is going to abandon her good girl
antics of simulated sex on stage for some really daring stuff."
July 4th turned out to be a real Independence Day for Jennifer
Lopez, who announced that she is ending her nearly month-long
marriage to B-list pop star Mark Anthony.
Lopez intimate and former Access Hollywood host Pat O'Brien
said, "The relationship had become stifling. She's still fond of
Mark, but felt they had really done it all in these weeks."
The final straw apparently came when they completed opening their
wedding gifts. "Opening these gifts was such a great experience for
them, they knew it could only go downhill from there," reports
Lopez's shoe closet maid.
Lopez reportedly plans to try reading a book before embarking on her
next relationship. "She'd seen Ben Affleck looking at books at an
airport kiosk once, and the idea captivated her," O'Brien explains.
But it may not be a very long book, as Lopez might have already set
her sights on her next beau. According to O'Brien, the ample-
bottomed temptress is infatuated with Britney Spears' fiancé Kevin
Federline. "She's completely taken with his provocative moves and
loves the fact that he's a family man who is ready to make a
commitment."
Federline has fathered two children with former partner and alleged
actress Shar Jackson. There have also been rumors that Federline
impregnated Spears, and offered sperm to Melissa Etheridge and her
partner should David Crosby's sperm count drop.
News of the impending breakup has sent shockwaves through pop
music's skanky wh*ore community. Speaking at a New York City sex club
that she attended with new companion and former Senate hopeful Jack
Ryan, Christina Aguilera said, "It just proves how hard we must work
to preserve the sanctity of our relationships."
Aguilera was so distraught that she only engaged in what observers
described as "mild kink" with three partners, leaving some to wonder
if this is the end of an era. O'Brien isn't so sure.
"I think this may be just what the pop wh*ore genre needs to shake it
up. I have a feeling that Britney is going to abandon her good girl
antics of simulated sex on stage for some really daring stuff."